From the Present to the Past
by Trickster Kitsune
Summary: Admitting something is hard, losing someone is worse. But what if the one who was lost can be brought back? SessRin


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Title: "From the Present to the Past" (a fairly decent title… ::falls over::)

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Series: Inu-Yasha

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Author: Trickster Kitsune

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Rating: R (Just to be safe… Sess-sama gets a little mad… ^__^)

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Genre: Romance/Angst

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Pairings: Sesshomaru/Rin

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Disclaimer: I don't own Sesshomaru or Rin… Blah, blah, blah, etc… Nothing belongs to me. Please don't sue.

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Summary: Admitting something is hard, losing someone is worse. But what if the one who was lost can be "brought back"?

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Humans, they are so inferior with their feelings. So why do I suffer as well, being a demon of such power? My half-brother must be rubbing off on me, though I hate to admit it. Or maybe _she_ is; this pup that decided to follow me for… How many years? 11? I shake my head. I guess I'm just as weak as a human or a half-breed.

I watch Rin from afar. Now 17, she has grown into a lovely young woman. Her hair falls to her waist, but she puts it up when we travel. She is tall and graceful, but not very woman-like in her ways. I guess that is what happens when one grows up with a wandering demon and not in a house with other humans. At least she has manners.

I glance at Jaken, who is supposed to be building a small fire for the night; but the sticks he has brought to use are much too big for him and he has difficulty placing them. I'm not about to help him; I just finished cleaning the blood from my nails after a particularly messy kill; I hate nosy crow demons.

I sigh, turning my attention back to Rin. This feeling I have for her… Love? I think that is what it is called. I have this feeling, but I can not admit it to her. Me, the great demon-lord Sesshomaru, afraid to admit the simple feeling of love. Or is it really that simple?

It is confusing, these feelings. I hate all humans of any kind, except for Rin. Maybe it is because she took care of me when I was hurt. But I paid off the debt! I brought her back to life with Tenseiga when wolves killed her! So why did I let her stay with me? Did I care about her then like I do now? Possibly, just that the feelings have grown stronger.

She doesn't help with these feelings either. At night, especially cold on cold nights, she still sleeps next to my body with my tail wrapped around both of us. I don't know how she feels about me. It seems she likes me well enough, but I'm not sure if she shares the same feelings that I do.

I have seen her sneak off to the nearby human village when she doesn't think I am looking, but I am always watching her; a habit I acquired when she was younger. I never know what she is doing when she goes there, but I don't like it. I don't like her being with and around humans. I guess I'm just protective of her since humans were so cruel to her. However, it could also be that I don't want her to fall in love with a human; I want her to love me. But why would she love me? Just because I've taken care of her for so long… I am like a father to her. Try telling my emotions that…

I look up from my brooding when I hear Jaken finally get the fire going. Perhaps I can shoo him off to go get some food now. I need to talk to Rin alone.

"Jaken", I call, standing to intimidate him a little; not that I could do that sitting.

"Yes, Sesshomaru-sama?" he asks, bouncing over from the fire to stand at my feet.

Gods this thing is ugly… "Go and find some food. Away from here. I think we have cleaned out this part of the forest already."

So I lied a little. Jaken will believe me, the loyal little toad… "Of course, milord. What shall I hunt for?"

"Anything, just take your time in doing so."

Jaken bows quickly and skitters off towards a lake a few miles away. Good choice, it will take him at least an hour just to get there.

When I don't hear Jaken moving towards the lake anymore, I walk over to Rin. She looks up at me, smiling as always. I keep my face in a neutral mask as I sit down next to her. She was playing with flowers, weaving them together into a long chain; I can smell their sweet scent all around her.

I shake my head slightly, trying to get my mind back on the reason I want to talk to her. I don't think addressing the fact that I know she has been sneaking off to the village is a good place to start, but I have to address that particular annoyance.

"Why have you been sneaking off to the village?" I ask. My heart tightens when I see her smile fade from her face.

"What do you mean?" she asks, hoping I haven't actually seen her and am just making an assumption.

"You know very well what I mean. I've smelled the humans on you when you've come to lay with me at night. I've told you repeatedly to _never_ go into a human village. You could be hurt, just like when you were younger."

"But that was a long time ago and this is a totally different village!"

I sigh, which involuntarily turns into a growl. "Humans are all the same. If they sense trouble in one, everyone will sense trouble. And you, my mischievous little friend, are full of trouble."

I have to admit, that sounds harsher than I intended and the response I get is just as harsh…

"What do you know about humans? You _demons_ are all the same. You think you are superior to all other creatures! What do you think you are? A god?"

I blink, unable to reply. I _knew_ I should have kept my mouth shut on this subject. She doesn't know any better… And really, what harm could befall her here?

She takes my silence as some sort of dismissal and runs off into the forest… Towards the village. I hang my head, feeling defeated. I will never forget the tears I saw on her face.

~*~*~*~

She returns later that night. I know for no matter how quietly she thinks she walks, I can hear her. I can also smell the scent of a human on her… A young male. I scrape my claws across the ground in anger and jealousy, creating long furrows in the grass.

I stay awake the whole night, listening to her quietly sob and watching the fire burn itself out.

~*~*~*~

The next morning, she is distant from me. I barely even get a word out of her when I try to talk to her. What I would give to go back in time and redo our conversation. I never even got the chance to tell her how I felt about her. Emotions are too damn complicated…

Later that day, she leaves, openly going to the human village. I guess I should expect this now. I don't think I even have the smallest chance with her anymore…

~*~*~*~

She repeats her defiance towards me for many days, and every night that she returns I smell the same young man on her. And I don't like the smell… But this feeling isn't from jealousy, it is something else, something I can't put words to…

I've tried to talk to her again, but now she just ignores me. Humans…

However, one night she doesn't return like she usually does. I start to worry a little and Jaken makes the mistake of saying that she probably found someone to live with and won't come back. I pin him to the ground, constricting his airway until he stops struggling. I release him, flexing my claws, and he runs to a safe distance from me; not that any distance is safe.

I fret over her well being as I stare at the forest, waiting for her to return, but she never does. I get more agitated until my sharp ears hear a female scream come from the village. I leap to my feet and Jaken rushes to my side.

"What is it, Sesshomaru-sama?" the toad demon asks.

"I heard a scream," I growl. "It was Rin."

"Oh, she probably isn't in trouble. You know humans and their bed habits. They could wake the dead."

I grab Jaken around the neck, constricting his airway again. "How dare you even think that, you disgusting toad!"

I throw him to the ground. He gets up, coughing. "You aren't going to go after her, are you?"

I hear the scream again. "Of course I am! And don't you dare follow me."

I kick Jaken in the opposite direction with all my might, just to get my point across. When I'm sure he isn't going to follow, I begin walking towards the village.

~*~*~*~

I reach the edge of the village. I have to stick to the shadows now; it would not be good to be seen. I find her scent easy enough and her screams grate in my ears.

I slip from shadow to shadow, following her scent. I hear her scream again, but this one is cut off and I smell the tang of blood. Mixed with both scents I smell the young man. His scent is a mix of lust, hate, and rage.

I disregard my safety and run to the dimly lit house from which the scents are coming from. I slam the door open, my eyes shining a demonic red. In a flash, I see the man thrust a dagger into Rin's heart, blood spurting everywhere.

In a lightning fast strike, I grab the young man by the head, my claws smashing his skull and digging deep down through the fragments of bone. Though I know that one strike killed him, I rip the young man's head off for good measure, tossing it and the body to a far corner of the room.

With my eyes fading back to their original gold, I fall to me knees next to Rin's bloody body. She is still alive, though barely, bleeding from multiple stab wounds. I pull the dagger from her chest, tossing it over to the body and getting the grim satisfaction of hearing it land tip first in the corpse.

I hold her close to me, for the first time realizing that there are tears on my cheeks.

She looks up at me through clouded eyes. She speaks, but it is so quiet that even I have trouble hearing her.

"Why did you come here?" she asks, trying to remain defiant to the very end.

"I heard you scream and then smelled your blood. How could I not come and try to help you?"

"But you hate humans. You said so yourself. Why try to save me?"

I am silent for a moment. I guess it's now or never.

"I _want_ to save you because… I love you."

Her eyes widen in a mix of shock, sorrow, and apology.

"I never knew…"

"That's because I was too frightened to tell you. See? Even demons can be afraid of something."

"But why me?"

I don't know how to reply, but I think she understands, reading something in my silence that I don't see. I shake my head and unsheathe the ever-present Tenseiga.

"I have to try to help you…"

She shakes her head. "You can't."

"Why not?"

"Remember? You already used Tenseiga on me once before; you can't use it on me again."

I curse hotly, putting the sword back in its sheath. "Then what can I do? I don't want to lose you, not now."

She lifts her hand to the hilt of the sword. "You can still use this on me…"

I'm confused. "How? You just said…"

She shakes her head. "You can use this when I die. You can bring me back as a ghost, but not really…"

"You aren't making any sense."

She smiles weakly. "There is a spell on the blade of the sword. If you recite it when I die, I will technically be brought back to life, but I won't be alive… I will just be a spirit that will be bound to the caster of the spell…" she coughs, but continues. "Anyone can see me, anyone can touch me, I will be "alive". But I will look slightly transparent and I will feel cold."

"What are you getting at?"

"If you use the spell, I can be with you until the end of your days. However, you have to chose an age for me to be when I am brought back. And I will not grow older…"

I blink. How does she know all this? I shrug. "What age do you wish to be?"

"Well, you always seemed so happy when I was young. So I think going back to when I was six years old would be good."

I nod, unsheathing the sword again.

"Are you sure about this?"

She nods, gasping for breath. I hold her, waiting for her to die so I can bring her back. How strange does that sound?

She takes a few more shuddering breaths and with the last, she says this: "Sesshomaru… Aishiteru."

With that, she dies in my arms. Through tears, I slowly begin to read the spell from the blade of the sword to bring my little pup back to me.

~*~*~*~

I walk a little ahead towards our next stop for the night. I pause and turn around when I hear Jaken squawk.

"Jaken, what's wrong now?" I try to hold back a laugh when I see Jaken wearing a wreath of flowers around his head.

"Call this child off, Sesshomaru-sama!" he squawks, glaring at his "attacker".

I smile, one of many that have graced my face in the past few months. "Rin, lease leave Jaken alone."

The six-year-old girl pouts a little, but leaves Jaken and comes to my side. I pick her up and she wraps her arms around my neck.

"Are we going to stop soon? Rin is getting tired."

I hold her close to me and continue towards the west, the sky ablaze with color from the setting sun.

"Yes, Rin, we will be stopping soon."

I smile to myself. Bringing my pup back was the best decision I've made in a long time. And the kindest… Even if she is a human.

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A/N: So, what do you think? Strange little twist on the "normal" Sess/Rin story, eh? I know, Sess-sama may be a bit out of character, but I had fun doing this from his POV. Comments are always welcome and if you find a _very_ noticeable spelling/grammar mistake, please tell me! ^__^


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